"Hurricane Simulator" $2, really?

"Hurricane Simulator" $2, really?

I doubt that little booth of plexiglas attached to some sort of fan gets even close.

Give me a day of your time and I'll simulate the experience for you bored clueless suburban bargain thrill-seekers.

My "simulator" involves a fan as well, slightly more house-sized. You'll sit inside a dark concrete box, candle-lit, metal-shuttered and tin-roofed. A couple of bored teenagers will periodically beat the outside of the structure with wooden bats while I proceed to dump the equivalent of two Olympic-sized pools of water on your box for the duration of your stay. Experience a genuine 2nd-story flooding experience. Another teenager with a nail gun will help enhance the experience by occasionally punching through the walls & shutters with 4-inch heavyweight nails. One corner of the roof will come loose and proceed to flap like a piece of paper caught on the grill of your car. For only a small additional fee, we'll give you the full level-5 experience by locking you in said box for 24 hours with half a loaf of Wonder Bread, a can of Spam and some cold pork& beans. While you're waiting out the night, the staff will then puncture all your tires, take a battering ram to one side of your vehicle, smash both front & rear windshields with a couple of concrete blocks and then flip your car three times so that the undercarriage is leaning against the closest lamp post.

This will come closer to the reality of what it's like to live in a typhoon corridor while still qualifying as mere simulation of a fraction of the real "thrill" of living through a super-typhoon.